Things are not so simple.
I am a lot of different things: male, Brazilian, overweight, mixed race, agnostic, professor/teacher... being gay is one of these things. It's not the most important thing in my life, but it is something I'm very comfortable about being.
Let's suppose we engage in a conversation and I decide to tell you about something my students did, or about one specific subject from a class I've taught. You'll immediately understand I am a teacher, and hopefully the conversation will go on without me explaining that I am a teacher; you will understand from the context and hopefully will not be pissed off by this specific information. Now, let's suppose you tell me about something your wife did, and then I tell you "my boyfriend did the same thing". You will probably understand at this point that I am a gay man, and if you live in a muslim nation, this will probably trigger someone who is eavesdropping (or maybe even you). However, since there's nothing wrong about me being a teacher, why must it be wrong when I say (or imply) that I am gay? Why should I suppress this information in a conversation when I would never omit from a conversation the fact that I am a teacher, if I believe this is relevant.
It's brutal, but in order to be safe, I have to take extra care, especially when I am in a foreign country. When you are gay, you learn to be afraid of even the most trivial conversations in unknown territories whenever you feel threatened. You either have to 1) omit any information about your significant other, or your sexuality; or 2) be vigilant and completely rephrase your sentences on your mind before you speak them, if your sentence somehow refers to your (or one's sexuality or significant other). It sucks to speak about my former relationships by saying "person" or "significant other". I'm sure straight people would never be afraid to openly speak about their wives and husbands, but gay people always feel threatened whenever they have to speak up.
There's another thing: not being "effeminate" doesn't make me any less gay. And I 100% support effeminate men, or butch women. Anybody lives however they want to live, and if this is how they chose to present themselves to the world, so be it. They should never ever be afraid of even walking outside on the sidewalk, and unfortunately these people are the number one targets, especially in ultra conservative societies.
As a final point, why would I ever spend my hard earned money in a country full of conservative people who have specific laws against gay people and clearly do not like people like me? I would never.