Mkbw50

You're bloody right about that

Desireé Henry repping GBR Come on

Eurosport is meant to be showing Diamond League now, but instead showing Giro d'Italia for some reason

Islamic Solidarity Games Solidarity with what?

Heroes

Baku! They're great at hosting things... lol

They're going to do stuff like "Ice hockey skill challenge" https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ice_hockey_at_the_2016_Winter_Youth_Olympics_–_Boys'_individual_skills_challenge Mark my words.

Someone needs to make a cartoon of my comment lol

Who doesn't want freestyle BMX? Except everyone

New events Archery: But using bazookas Athletics: Race walk on a protest staring Kendall Jenner Badminton: Shuttlecock renamed 'shuttlevagina' for feminism Baseball: Powerups like Mario Super Sluggers Basketball: Every team is just made up of five USA players Beach volleyball: All the players are naked Boxing: Replaced with UFC Canoeing - Slalom: There are no longer any boats Canoeing - Sprint: There is no longer any water Cycling - BMX: Some mad freestyle eve- wait, this is real? Oh. Cycling - Mountain Bike: Athletes no longer have a bike, and only have rations for 2 months, to start a fire, and no emergency contact Cycling - Road: There are still cars on the road, so the athletes have to be mindful of traffic Cycling - Track: The biggest race in Olympic history: 1,000 athletes (all at the same time) - what could go wrong? Diving: It's now from the biggest sky scraper in the host nation Equestrian: No more outdated horses. For animal rights, the teams have two hours to make a Papier-mâché horse and use that Fencing: It's now going to be a medieval swordfight Field hockey: You get points for hitting your apponent with the stick Football: Now a full-age competition that everybody in football respects LOL HAHA JUST KIDDING it's one of those stupid 'freestyle football' competitions Golf: It's on a volcano à la Mario Golf Gymnastics - Artistic: It's now a twerking competition Gymnastics - Rhythmic: They throw the ball and play cricket using the clubs - throwing through the hoops as an impromptu wicket and the ribbon as the crease Gymastics - Trampoline: If an athlete does badly, the trampoline is removed before they land Handball: You can now use your feet Judo: It's now an "artistic judo" contest, where you have to be the most stylish no matter who wins Karate: It's the most stereotypical karate match ever, with all participants armed with ninja throwing starts to appeal to youth Modern Penathlon: League of Legends, Counter Strike: Global Offensive, FIFA 17, Rocket League, Pokémon Sun/Moon Rowing: All teams have no paddles Rugby Sevens: There is now 1 player on each team Sailing: It lasts 3 months on a voyage to Australia. It doesn't matter where the host nation is, it will always mysteriously last 3 months and be to Australia anyway Shooting: It's now for Black Lives Matter, participants have to dress up as policeman and shoot unarmed black people. Unfortunately, real people are used for some reason. Skateboarding: (It's in the Olympics in the first place lol) "Woah dude. That kickflip was gnarly" - The commentators will say that even if it's unrelated to a kickflip Softball: It's now a men only sport and baseball is a women's only sport Sport Climbing: The sea level slowly rises, meaning if you take too long you'll drown Surfing: Remember Club Penguin? Yeah. That. Swimming: Now with added sharks! Table Tennis: No table, now you just get points by hitting your opponent with the ball Taekwondo: Athletes will now be those stupid weeaboos that think everything Japanese is cool and will bring body pillows, then run away before the fight Tennis: The women where dresses but no underwear in a shameless attempt to get viewers, the IOC explain why this is actually pro-feminism Triathlon: Jousting, Hotdog eating, and The Suicide Race - The athletes did not know they meant actual suicide Volleyball: The net is now 20 metres high, all the time the athletes are on really wobbly ladders. Fifteen die, thirty-six wounded Water Polo: Now you HAVE to make your feet touch the ground, at all times Weightlifting: All done by douchebag gymlads that look stupid when they completely overestimate their lifting ability Wrestling: Anything is legal, like chair throwing, punching, and concealing a weapon and shooting the opponent

lol the mascot is very important!

Future headlines from Tokyo: May 22 "Pictograms canned as 'unnecessary distractions' - reports" Sept 15 "Shock in Lima as it is announced that Pyongyang win the 2024 Olympics as IOC aim to complete 'Asian Tour'" Oct 19 "In cutback, only "key" events Athletics, Swimming and Gymnastics, as well as Skateboarding, Sport Climbing, and Karate to be held to 'preserve legacy of games amongst youth" Jan 13 "Athletics, Swimming, and Gymnastics latest sports to go" Mar 19 "Why 'that' St. Patrick's Day tweet from the Tokyo 2020 account WAS racist" Mar 21 "TOCOG apologises for 'leprechaun' tweet, sends bemused Irish NOC "pot o' gold" to make up for it" Mar 23 "Ireland withdraws from 2020 Olympics" May 31 "IOC considers moving games to Wellington as speculation over Tokyo's future grows" Sep 29 "TOCOG says they have a 'huge announcement' to make to be revealed on October 3" Oct 3 "Scheduled annoucment doesn't happen puzzling world media" Oct 17 "TOCOG: Announcement now to be held on November 12" Nov 12 "TOCOG release timetable on when mascot will be released" Feb 13 "Madness in Milan: TOCOG say that Olympics will not be broadcast on TV to "preserve our planet"" Sep 19 "Olympics replaced with video game "Mario and Sonic at the Tokyo 2020 Olympic Games - officials say this will allow "regular people" to experience Olympics like "never before" Dec 20 "'Wellington 2020' logo leaked, but is NZ ready to host an Olympics?" Feb 13 "Kiwi PM Little: Olympics in Wellington one of NZ's "proudest moments ever" Jul 24 Opening Ceremony for the Games of the 32nd Olympiad held in Wellington, New Zealand. Yoshirō Mori makes a speech about how happy he is that Tokyo are hosting the games to a completely empty New National Stadium anyway. I'm joking. Or am I?

The real victim of holding it in Fukushima...

Commonwealth Games 2018 SCHEDULE With exactly one year to go until Gold Coast 2018, the schedule has been released at https://www.gc2018.com/schedule! The event will last from 4-21 April 2018 and includes four 'Free events' where anyone can take part. I hope you guys plan your TV schedules accordingly

Shame it's not online because I would sign

Great stuff!

Arsenal VS Bayern Barça VS Paris Both dodgy matches for the bigger team

Good luck, qualification system hunters

I've got it! "Ticket to Tokyo". When an athlete qualifies they get their "Ticket to Tokyo". I'm a corporate genius! Australia like doing things early... like the Commonwealth games... by three months

Oh, I see. Well, it will be exciting when they are released. I want to dub this the "Trek to Tokyo" (in the same vain as Road to Rio and Path to PyeongChang) but is that to cheesy?

Won't they be finalised in Lima? That's what I thought but I could be wrong

Discovery have sub-licensed to Georgian Public Broadcasting (Georgia), RÚV (Iceland), and Latvijas Televīzija (Latvia) I can imagine the head of Discovery just sitting in an office going "MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE"

In Georgia, Discovery sub-licensed to Georgia Public Broadcasting In Iceland, Discovery sub-licensed to RÚV In Latvia, Discovery sub-licensed to Latvijas Televīzija

Wow. That's a turnup for the books.