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Totallympics Suggestions and Problems Thread


Gianlu33
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31 minutes ago, heywoodu said:

Is there any way to let a whole bunch of Enters at the end of a post automatically be deleted or something? For some reason a certain user doesn't seem to be able to post normal posts without it and it takes up a whole lot of space every time :p 

What

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Do you mean?

“Sport has the power to change the world. It has the power to inspire. Sport can create hope where once there was only despair” - Nelson Mandela

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Just now, heywoodu said:

Not that.


 

This?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Sport has the power to change the world. It has the power to inspire. Sport can create hope where once there was only despair” - Nelson Mandela

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Well, I know it'll be strange, what I'll write, especially in this place, but I the word "Problem" and "Suggestion" are the keys here. The first is what I have, the second is what I need.

 

The problem is I'm getting tired of doing what I like. That would not need anything big but the thing is I can't live without doing it. This crisis lasts about a year, during which I was fighting with myself - leave it or give it a go. It was, or in fact is, a sinusoidal - once I left it I came back in two days. Then I left it again, this time burning the bridges behind me. When I tried to start something new, it didn't go as I wanted, so it stopped. Then I came back to it, developing it more. And when I thought I have some new chances, I suddenly lost the hope I can succeed as I wanted. Now I'm really a little bit hanging between two spots - I don't know how to go further but I don't know how to not do it at all.

 

Since I have no one in place to solve that problem, I ask you all. Any suggestions?

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35 minutes ago, Vojthas said:

Well, I know it'll be strange, what I'll write, especially in this place, but I the word "Problem" and "Suggestion" are the keys here. The first is what I have, the second is what I need.

 

The problem is I'm getting tired of doing what I like. That would not need anything big but the thing is I can't live without doing it. This crisis lasts about a year, during which I was fighting with myself - leave it or give it a go. It was, or in fact is, a sinusoidal - once I left it I came back in two days. Then I left it again, this time burning the bridges behind me. When I tried to start something new, it didn't go as I wanted, so it stopped. Then I came back to it, developing it more. And when I thought I have some new chances, I suddenly lost the hope I can succeed as I wanted. Now I'm really a little bit hanging between two spots - I don't know how to go further but I don't know how to not do it at all.

 

Since I have no one in place to solve that problem, I ask you all. Any suggestions?

I am, by no means whatsoever, a person qualified to give advice to anyone. However, I can speak to what your feeling.


If you remember back to my 5,000th post, I believe I talked about the long period of depression I went through in middle school. The only reason I’m still alive to this day, is because someone believed in me. A teacher took my aside about 1/3 through 8th grade (the last grade before high school in the US), and essentially told me that I had a gift for writing and deep thinking. That lit up my world. I’ve put a lot of energy into writing, journalism, sports analysis, etc. since then. It’s thankless work. I can stay up for 6 hours writing a masterpiece of political or satirical poetry, and then get shit on by my peers. I’ve submitted to 4-5 internships with pieces that are some of my best, and have never made it to the second round. Often when writing for Totallympics Media, I think “Does anyone even care what I write” or “no one even reads these” or “I’m not happy right now, so why do I do this”. It’s hard. Plus, that’s not mentioning the constant pressure to be at my best. I spend a lot of nights just think “What am I doing!”. I’m 19, I never driven a car, I barely leave my house, I don’t have a paying job, I too lazy to do the simplest of workouts, I do have any life skills etc
 

It takes strength to keep going, and your only as strong as you make yourself. People can tell you what to do, how to fix yourself, that you’ll be nothing, that your works incredibly pointless, etc. 

 

At some point you have to decide “this is what I’m doing, and fuck everyone else”. I ran races years, and essentially finished last. Do I feel terrible often for finishing so far back? Yes. Did I often dream of just one time doing exceptionally well? All the time. Did I stop running no? No.

 

What people didn’t see was the work, dedication, and enjoyment behind the scenes. They didnt know how good it felt to be in shape. How good it felt to just run with friends for an hour. They won’t know the feeling of pushing through all the pain to finish. It doesn’t matter to people because they don’t understand the passion.

 

It’s the same with writing. I’ll make to Instagram posts. One is of my cat. That gets, say, 50 little hearts (likes). The second one is a picture of the sunset that took 20 tries to frame properly, accompanied by a poem about the fragility of life. That gets 10 little hearts. I feel crushed. I put in tons of work and into the second post, and people liked the crappy photo of my cat more. It makes me question why I even write poetry. Then, two weeks down the line one person will message me. They’ll say that they really connected to that poem. They feel like I gave them a voice. I remember then why I do poetry. It’s art, it’s subjective, it’s often under appreciated, but I enjoy it. I’m truly myself when I write. There are often times, as I said, where it feels fucking useless, to do anything. I just remember that I’m trying to find that one person to make happy, to brighten their day, to help inform them, to show my true colors. 
 

That’s how I get through writing day in, and day out. Sometimes, like you said, I feel like I absolutely love what I do, other times I hate myself and my writing.

 

I’ve decided (a while ago) that’s it’s important to continue writing because it’s the only place where I’m truly me. My opinion matters when I write because some will eventually read it, and want to have a discussion. 
 

I’m an average man. I’m about as sadly standard as they come, but I just get through everyday, by trying to brighten, help, or improve someone else’s day. For me, informing people about various sporting events gives me sheer joy. Often no one makes a comment about what I write, but I always know it made someone’s day. I might post a pre-written press release about a Paralympic sport, by I choose to believe deep down, that someone will read and find something they like. Maybe one of their fellow country people won an event, and now they’re fans of them because of my article. Maybe a random fact from my article makes someone realize they love history. Three years later they’re spending hours reading old texts because that’s what they love now.

 

You can’t be believe in anything until you believe in yourself. Think of it like the Greek myth of Pandora. She opened the box of human feelings. Everything scary escaped, and she closed the lid before HOPE could escape. I choose to believe that we, ourselves, have to open our box (our mind, our soul, etc.) and let HOPE out. 
 

The world is a sad place without hope. They wouldn’t be happiness without hope. I could spend a lifetime writing reports, articles, political theories, poems, songs, etc. and feel satisfied with my work (even if I’m unhappy) because I know that odds are, it meant something to somebody.

 

@Vojthas you are an incredibly talented, interesting, and funny person. I enjoyed working with you. It pains me to hear about what your going through. I know many entertainers, writers, etc. who have all gone through the same feelings. They got through it because the believed, and choose to continue to hope for opportunities until it finally paid off one day. There are plenty of people who’ve tried thing after thing for 50 years, and one day just hit the freaking jackpot with an idea. That won’t happen if you stop believing in yourself. 
 

To me it sounds like you need time to make a choice. Is what you love doing worth it? Is it worth the long nights, the hardships, the glory, the pain, the frustration, the happiness. Or, is it time to move on? Is it not worth it anymore? Is there someone else where you could make a serious impact? Is there something else that will give you the same feeling you loved when you started?

 

I’ve not known you long, and I obviously don’t know you as well as a close friend would, but I know and feel deep down that you’ll make the choice that makes you happy.

 

I spent a long time on this, so hopefully you, or someone else reads it :p. I ain’t proofreading it, so sorry if the grammar sucks. 
 

I hope that it helps, at least in some small way.

“Sport has the power to change the world. It has the power to inspire. Sport can create hope where once there was only despair” - Nelson Mandela

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